im finally back!
blogger is finally working on my comp! ((:

anw, these few weeks had be crazy crazy crazy.
school work plus band plus church. everything was just. whew...
anw, Con Fuoco VI was on saturday.
sad to say, it wasnt the best we could perform, but everyone said it was much better than last year's.
and according to brother, " the best i've seen in 6 years" coming from a man who mistook our syf to be at VCH, we'll see how reliable that is.

i've been rather moody lately.
like i talk considerably less. okay maybe not.
but sometimes, i just dont want to say anything.
and just listen to my music.
im glad band concert's over.
now im gonna start mugging.
its freaky how its already May, and i havent started studying.
History and Gp's in like. less than 2 weeks.
and im still like. in the mood for wasting my free periods on eating and stuff.
i dont care if people say im stressing out, or im a mugger.
but truth is, i'll be spending 6 precious days of my june hols in Gold Coast with the band. band trip means band rehearsals before. so we'll see how much time i get to study.
after that there's YA volunteer's retreat whcih i dont plan on missing cause i miss YA too much.
then there's cluster camp. which ends. lets see.
5 pathetic days before my Literature paper which im so totally not prepared for.

i know i have to compromise on something.
or a few things.
band is not one of the choices.
and i dont wanna give up YA. been missing too much for band.
and cluster camp. i really wanna be there. though i know i need the time to study.

so what do i have left?
less social life now. till after mids.
or maybe As.

maybe i need to surrender my fear of my exam.
i have this tendency to feel totally prepared,
and do badly for major exams.
look at PSLE.
before that i've been doing rather well in class.
but i graduated with a sad 228.
and Os.
before that, well, not doing great, but i thought i had it in control.
and i got 16.

but praise be to God who always leads us in triumphant procession.
God has used my measly results in the eyes of man, and got me to where i am.
though with bad results, im able to be in the same school as people who had a much better result history.
guess i just got to learn to trust Him. once again.


come to think of it, i've been looking at my timetable alot lately. been trying to plot out my life.
and i've been so frustrated doing it cause things just keep popping up and i dont seem to be able to do it at all. Maybe God's trying to say something.

sorry if this entry seems disorganised. it reflects the situation in my mind now.

i miss my YA kids esp Jiayuan,
i miss my free-er days,
days where i had so much time for God.

sorry God. if i compromised on you. Help me. to get back to you again.


runaway runaway like a prodigal. Don't you wait for me don't you wait for me.
so ashamed so ashamed, but i need you so. Won't you wait for me? Won't you wait for me. 8:42 PM