the first time in my life,
God spoke to me SO strongly during sermon.
the last 15 mins i was tearing and sniffing,
and God really was doing a work in my heart.

lets begin from worship.
beginning of worship pastor Eugene said to us

"cast all your cares on him, and he'll sustain you"

and during worship.

"call upon the name of the Lord, and be saved"

God was already preparing me for the word he's about to bring to me.
i shld lay down all my burdens to him, and then i'll be able to sustain living.

before that, i was just thinking how im gonna sustain school and studying till after As,
since im feeling quite tired now.
guess my question is answered. (:

anw, the sermon was about Brokenness.
and the thing that really hit home was,
the limit at which God can use you is the level of your Brokenness.

when pastor started talking about Psalm 51, i looked back on the song that i wrote on the 20thfeb,
and said. " it must be divine. God's saying something"

then he mentioned something about ministry. that we're so caught up with a flawless performance, but its not the thing that God desires. i guess many a times, im so caught up with "did i sing well?" or " did i teach the kids well?" or "did i lead well?" that i forget. what God really wants.
he doesnt want a performance thats perfect, he wants. ME. and a broken spirit so that i HAVE to rely on him.

by then i was already crying and when we stood up to sing a hymn, God just broke me.
my heart was juat so heavy, and i really felt unworthy of his Grace. i was in Utter Desperation about
the Condition of my heart,
The need for Cleansing of my Spirit,
and for the new creation of God.

and when he gave that invitation, i went up to the altar.
and God just Broke me again. after such a long time.
and after breaking me, he restored me. gave me assurance,
gave me joy in the knowledge that he will continue to use me, and im ready to find joy in serving him again.

God is Wonderful. 7:29 PM