reminiscing.

looking through my posts for this year,
i saw a few things that struck me.
things that i hope wont happen are happening,
and things i wanted to happen are also happening now.

"i hope the section will continue to be the way it is now, and not drift away from one another"

this is the statement that evoked a feeling of sadness. of hurt. of near disappointment.
despite my efforts to bring the section close to one another, we just arent.
everything i've done were just superficial.
the section isnt the same. once band ended,
we all went our separate paths.
that was something i didnt want to happen.
im just sad. something i havent felt that much in a long time.
perhaps a sense of pity. i thought we could be a strong close group of friends that goes beyond band.
guess i was wrong. but Xiling has been there for me to talk to. even with her need to study, will make time for my rantings.
hope everything will come back to normal once As are over.


"God please help me, i surrender all to you"

this one. really brought about thanksgiving and praise for my King.
the time before promos were tough.
i was really struggling. but during the music conference
i laid everything down to God. something i've not been able to do before.
and things really worked out.
im moving on to J2, and im closer to my class.
which is great and awesome.
praise God.

well. its the weekends and i dont feel anything at all.
i'll miss the class.
but i look forward to church.
its times like this. that i need to find my new aim in life.
i know my one goal will always to be to draw close to God.
but this aim, to bring me to the next stage of running towards my As in As.

perhaps to learn to manage my time and finances?
i dont know.
im not sure.
im not sure about many things these days.

and im in a huge debt.
but im having problems handling my finances.
kill me. 9:23 PM