yesterday was the first day back at school.
the final resolution to all the tension that happened in the last part of the holidays.
school.
i was hit suddenly by the fact that i SO didnt do well for mid years. and i have to buck up if i want to be promoted.
after a long tedious not to mention boring day at school
i had Chinese Oral. which wasnt such a good improvement over the sleepy school hours i had.
finally was my turn. sprouted some alien chinese sentences and then went for band.
i received a message. and it spoilt my mood.
someone i trusted proved me wrong.
i was angry.
then pissed.
i went to melissa and started complaining.
then i was just in a bad mood.
didnt talk much. played first for the first two sightreading songs. sat with jiffsen so it wasnt thta bad.
and then we played roman fest.

before that sir suddenly asked us "what does cca mean to you"
and he started this rather serious and solemn talk about band and the characters.
it was a talk i knew would come. and i agreed with him.
why cant people not only in band, but people in general, just be themselves?
there's NO need to act like someone else so others will favour you.
and WHY cant we just not only look onto the surface, but think about people's feelings emotions and all? i mean. gossiping aint a nice thing to do.
whats worse is that those juicy details are juicy beyond reality.
making up such comments about people is just absolutely despicable.
it doesnt add colour to one's life. it destroys another's
superficial, unreal. those are the two words that are apparent in my mind right now.
and im very much disturbed by it.

irregardless.
we played Roman Fest. thought it sounded quite okayyyy. thought my mood was rather bad throughout. and then i cleared things up. and it was better.
my mood became better i suppose.
then we played Jap Graf.
Mr Lim happily blasted his way through and got himself scolded.
i got scolded cause i wasnt listening. (i didnt know sir was talking to me)
and then. we went for section plus everybody else dinner.
it felt so weird not talking to them. sigh.
its just awkward for me. ):

whatever it is. i know the world can be disappointing and i can trust in god.
and i know when all else fails, his mercy still remains. ((:
i just wish. the trombone section '07 will remain good friends and not drift away from one another even though we dont see each other much after band practices stop.
and that we will continue being the way we are, real and bonded. 5:52 PM