goodbye blogger.

hello livejournal.

(: but im keeping this for memories'sake

im one nostalgic person. ((:

http://pullouthestops.livejournal.com

((: relink. 5:54 PM

MIND CAFE VISIT TWO

without the weighing thoughts of a upcoming maths exam,
this was much more exciting.
and with 3 times the number of people. whooo.
we were the negative externalities. not the ones suffering it.
SERANGOON CLUB VOLUNTEERS OUTING.

first was dinner at PS, the famous Nasi Panggan.
then yummy TAU HUAY, courtesy of Melvin! ((:
then Mind Cafe games.
we played Taboo! and Banana Slap and how could we forget

SABOTEUR



me fee and ben are just ADDICTED to that game.
we were so noisy and drama. it was more enjoyable than the previous time. (:

made a nemesis cause i kept blocking him.
and threw away a card that could be used to save him.
HAHAHAHA.

was fun mannxxx.
i wanna go back! ((: 10:50 PM

BACK TO SCHOOL.

after a really really really long break.
wasnt exactly a break. but it was one from school.
now exams are over, and we all need to get over our horrible mid year results and start out 2 plus months race towards As.
im not exactly in a state of panic or stress now.
more of one in denial.
that As are approaching, the year's ending, im turning 18 soon.
its all too fast.

what happened to stop and smell the roses.

but in Singapore, well, that will never happen.
other than the fact that we do not have roses along sidewalks, we do not have the privilege to take our time to do things.
its all deadlines, fast approaching D-days.
i kinda wanna have life in NZ were i can sit on grass, watch clouds go by, analyse sheeps' poo, hear cows moo...etc.

but. i'll not know what to do with my free time.
so back to the topic of back to school.
im happy im back, but im unhappy that i know i have to start working hard.
its a love-hate situation.
in anycase, i know God's watching over me, he's giving me blessings, and helping me through so much.

come to think of it, i never do well enough to get to top schools, or bad enough to go to the worse schools. God always provides me with whats best for me. i think if i went to TKGS i'll turn out weird, or if i went to YJ i'll prolly be mugging my ass off now.
but he brought me to KCP and CJC where im able to do things at paces i can handle, and still have time to waste sitting at Minds Cafe playing Saboteur 2 nights before a maths examination.

a 16 pointer, doing, with God's blessings, relatively well in class.
though i've goten 34/100 for maths, its something i can work harder on.

really thank JESUS for everything. ((: friends, family, food.



4:50 PM

BRISBANE 2008

well it was a good way to end my journey in CJCSB
the weather was awesome and i really had a good time.
though my mood were bad on some days due to the exhaustion. but it ended really well.
with awesome shopping and fun.
we rocked the griffith university concert hall!! ((:
Turandot was AMAZING. in the tuning room, Nessun Dorma was hair raising.
awesome stufff.
AT THE AIRPORT.


AT QUEEN'S STREET BRISBANE.
CITIGATE HOTEL (first night)

TERRACES AT WICKHAM


south bank i think.

5:55 PM

im finally back to blog. HA
comp just crashed so im here in school to blog.
life has been mundane as usual.
but the past weekend was awesome.
on saturday we had a Godchasers seminar with Pastor Tommy Tenny.
it was amazing (: i think my hunger for God was renewed.
pastor tommy is super funny. ahahaha. i heart him alot.
and i feel less stressed about school now. i think God took some of it away.

mugging starts now. so im gonna stay in school almost everynight for night study.
may God give me renewed strength that comes from him. ((:

oh yeah. i have yet to annouce here.
im recently stuck on Dong Bang Shin Ki.
well, they may seem like a boyband that is like super feminine and such.
but they dohave standards.
i dont think many people can dance and sing like them.
plus they can do acapella.
so they arent just pretty. they are good.

JUNSU! ((:

and no reuben, they are much better than backstreet boys. 3:02 PM

im finally back!
blogger is finally working on my comp! ((:

anw, these few weeks had be crazy crazy crazy.
school work plus band plus church. everything was just. whew...
anw, Con Fuoco VI was on saturday.
sad to say, it wasnt the best we could perform, but everyone said it was much better than last year's.
and according to brother, " the best i've seen in 6 years" coming from a man who mistook our syf to be at VCH, we'll see how reliable that is.

i've been rather moody lately.
like i talk considerably less. okay maybe not.
but sometimes, i just dont want to say anything.
and just listen to my music.
im glad band concert's over.
now im gonna start mugging.
its freaky how its already May, and i havent started studying.
History and Gp's in like. less than 2 weeks.
and im still like. in the mood for wasting my free periods on eating and stuff.
i dont care if people say im stressing out, or im a mugger.
but truth is, i'll be spending 6 precious days of my june hols in Gold Coast with the band. band trip means band rehearsals before. so we'll see how much time i get to study.
after that there's YA volunteer's retreat whcih i dont plan on missing cause i miss YA too much.
then there's cluster camp. which ends. lets see.
5 pathetic days before my Literature paper which im so totally not prepared for.

i know i have to compromise on something.
or a few things.
band is not one of the choices.
and i dont wanna give up YA. been missing too much for band.
and cluster camp. i really wanna be there. though i know i need the time to study.

so what do i have left?
less social life now. till after mids.
or maybe As.

maybe i need to surrender my fear of my exam.
i have this tendency to feel totally prepared,
and do badly for major exams.
look at PSLE.
before that i've been doing rather well in class.
but i graduated with a sad 228.
and Os.
before that, well, not doing great, but i thought i had it in control.
and i got 16.

but praise be to God who always leads us in triumphant procession.
God has used my measly results in the eyes of man, and got me to where i am.
though with bad results, im able to be in the same school as people who had a much better result history.
guess i just got to learn to trust Him. once again.


come to think of it, i've been looking at my timetable alot lately. been trying to plot out my life.
and i've been so frustrated doing it cause things just keep popping up and i dont seem to be able to do it at all. Maybe God's trying to say something.

sorry if this entry seems disorganised. it reflects the situation in my mind now.

i miss my YA kids esp Jiayuan,
i miss my free-er days,
days where i had so much time for God.

sorry God. if i compromised on you. Help me. to get back to you again.


runaway runaway like a prodigal. Don't you wait for me don't you wait for me.
so ashamed so ashamed, but i need you so. Won't you wait for me? Won't you wait for me. 8:42 PM

THANK YOU JESUS.

these few days have really been amazing.

my common test results.
werent amazing but. THANK YOU JESUS.
considering what i usually produce in class. this time is okayy.
and to my musketeers in class.
DONT WORRY! you guys just didnt start early enough! you're smart people! ((:
lets work hard tog!

Sanctification
i'll blog more later. after tonight.
it so far has been amazing!

Cell
we got together for gatherings. ((: eggciting.
so many things happening in our lives.

oh well! thank you Jesus!

well, i have regrets neglecting certain relationships with people.
now i feel. far away from them.
hope it'll get better. 11:00 AM

YA SURVIVAL CAMP 2008.

seriously the BEST thing that happened to me this year.

i went in with a heavy heart cause i knew i couldnt stay throughout the camp cause i had to leave on Monday and on Wednesday.
BUT God is Good. and he removed that dread in my heart.

on Saturday we had YA Funfair at Ngee Ann Primary. i think Serangoon Club kids had fun.
Benny redeemed the Transformers toy to mine and seth's dismay.
and my dear Jiayuan was the first to redeem a car thats worth 70 points. and he was so sweet that he used the last 5 pts to redeem twisties for me cause i was hungry. to mine Benlee and Yanyi's happiness. in anycase, the kids left and we started our Volunteers orientation. we had dinner then proceeded to do briefing.
i was main counsellor of AZTECS 3!
in the beginning i was quite worried for my group cause my counsellors were all not from FC and erm. i was quite. alien to them. but that worry was dissipated later.
slept at 4 am cause had nice Macs Supper with pam joce ben shijun edwin and people.

woke up at 5.45am on Sunday morning and did my quiet time.
guess it was cool cause i managed to spend 1 whole hour just talking to God.
went up and took a half an hour nap. left for church. was cool. we prayed for one whole hour. and more.
then left back for Ngee Ann and prepared for the arrival of the kids.
slowly my kids all arrived.
Fidiyana, Anisa, Isaac, Han, Ryan, Sarah, Jia Wen, Jin Kai, Hasif.
they are really. cool.
like the first day they were cheering and stuff so i was really happy! ((:
the day went on really smoothly and we had the cool water bombing at night. was fun! ((:
AZTECS is reallly cooll.

anw, Monday morning i woke up at 6. read my psalms then woke the kids up for breakfast.
we had breakfast packed then the kids went off for Changi Beach walk and outdoor cooking while i had to go for band. which i fell asleep during sectionals. hahaha.
reached back around 6 plus. had dinner then took the kids ard for structured experience. once again. the group was really good! (: LOVE THEM PLEASE. at night, we had briefing. and we prayed really hard. that was when God really began to do a work in me.
Pastor shared something to us and it reallu affected me. it mademe angry upset and sad at the same time. we prayed hard and everyone was touched by the Lord. then after the briefing i sat down with Lijuan and just cried. really cried. for like half an hour or more. the both of us just cried. at that point time i really just. i think i really felt how Jesus felt. slept ard 4am.

Tuesday morning woke up at 6am and then brought the kids down for breakfast. then we took a TYA photo! ((: was quite funny. anw, left for Amazing Race. we walked from Ngee Ann to Marine Parade. and completed some of the tasks. on the way back, it started pouring heavily. me and my kids were stuck at one of the pavillons and they were kinda entertaining themselves. after awhile though, it started raining heavier with thunder and stuff, and some of them started feeling cold. esp. Hasif. he was coughing and shivering. i placed him on my lap and hugged him and the otehr kids were also cold. so in the end Yiji came to fetch the girls and Hasif back and then came back 2 more times to send the rest of us back. we reached back and we had campfire. we taught the clan some stuff and we performed it. was quite fun cause AZTECS just went crazy! ((: and i manged to talk to some of the hong ka people and made friends with yong hao and jordan cause they found my accent funny. in any case, at the end of the campfire we sang forever friends and some of my kids started crying. Sarah, Jin Kai, Fidiyana all started crying. what really touched me the most was when i saw yong hao and nicholas crying. i really felt at that moment. this camp really made an impact on their lives. i just hugged the kids and they just cried even more. even i did. and i really. knew at that moment. whatever i was feeling on monday night abt being insignificant was all gone and i knew at that moment, God was answering my prayers. he was using the insignificant things that i did to touch the lives of the children. and really. PRAISE GOD.

Wednesday morning i had to leave for Band. but i said bye to the kids and took pictures. i hope they miss me cause i miss them alot. ((: anw, the camp was really. awesome. as what Ben said. we Rest in the midst of the storm and God's blessing will be greater even with less. we rested in God cause we constantly entrusted things to his hand. and even though many of the activities couldnt be carried out to its full course, the impact we had on the kids was even greater. and God really Asnwered our prayers.

THANK YOU JESUS! 11:51 PM

the first time in my life,
God spoke to me SO strongly during sermon.
the last 15 mins i was tearing and sniffing,
and God really was doing a work in my heart.

lets begin from worship.
beginning of worship pastor Eugene said to us

"cast all your cares on him, and he'll sustain you"

and during worship.

"call upon the name of the Lord, and be saved"

God was already preparing me for the word he's about to bring to me.
i shld lay down all my burdens to him, and then i'll be able to sustain living.

before that, i was just thinking how im gonna sustain school and studying till after As,
since im feeling quite tired now.
guess my question is answered. (:

anw, the sermon was about Brokenness.
and the thing that really hit home was,
the limit at which God can use you is the level of your Brokenness.

when pastor started talking about Psalm 51, i looked back on the song that i wrote on the 20thfeb,
and said. " it must be divine. God's saying something"

then he mentioned something about ministry. that we're so caught up with a flawless performance, but its not the thing that God desires. i guess many a times, im so caught up with "did i sing well?" or " did i teach the kids well?" or "did i lead well?" that i forget. what God really wants.
he doesnt want a performance thats perfect, he wants. ME. and a broken spirit so that i HAVE to rely on him.

by then i was already crying and when we stood up to sing a hymn, God just broke me.
my heart was juat so heavy, and i really felt unworthy of his Grace. i was in Utter Desperation about
the Condition of my heart,
The need for Cleansing of my Spirit,
and for the new creation of God.

and when he gave that invitation, i went up to the altar.
and God just Broke me again. after such a long time.
and after breaking me, he restored me. gave me assurance,
gave me joy in the knowledge that he will continue to use me, and im ready to find joy in serving him again.

God is Wonderful. 7:29 PM

it seems like time is slowing down,
giving me an immeasurable amount of time to feel stressed about Common Tests.

i know its JUST common tests.
but i wanna do my best to know where i stand.
if i cant like. study substantially for CTs, what am i gonna do during As?

i know. i'll faint and die.

loads of pictures to update. abt Rockafella which really blew me away,
the cool room we found thtas simply. hotel-lish.
and school! (:

Night Study was rather productive today.
i realise i dont talk much to dom and lilian when studying. so thats a good thing.
cept my stomach was hurting throughout.
and the group of students behind me that were whispering to one another acros tables.
which just sounds like talking in a really husky and airy tone.
and its stupid cause everyone can still hear you. whats the point of WHISPERING if you're gonna talk loudly? i can hear them so clearly when my music stops playing and takes an intermission of 3 secs. sigh.

im gonna Night Study more.
and there's no band fora week.
dont think i should be happy since im gonna miss practice due to YA camp.
but then again. it means more time to study. 1:00 AM

Happy Valentine's Day!


not to be a cynic.
but what really is the significance of Valentine's Day?
i mean for couples?
a day to show your love?
personally i feel thatlove should be expressed daily. every min and every hour.
maybe im an idealist. but if you do so, why wait till this day to give flowers?

in any case, Valentines Day has been twitched through these years to not only be a time of giving for couples, but for friends.
(: i did enjoy myself today.
Joanne surprised me with 3 roses. (:

butwhat im saying is a paradox. ithink the significance of the day is well. silly.
BUT. i still like it.

but well. while most have only ONEdate for today,
i had TWO.

first was VIVIEN MACHINE GAN.
i got to know her more today! abt her secondary school life and everything.
(: love you millions.

next was. well. WORK.
i finished my tutorial outline for history
and did some studying for Econs.
but well. istill have to complete my UN assignment which was due. well
today.

OH WELL.

i finished 2.4 in 15.30 today. (: happy. 7:40 PM

5:31 PM

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR.

the first two days are over and it was been a fruitful one.
though the nmber of houses we have to visit has significantly decreased,
it has been more fruitful.

i have grown closer to my cousins. i think.
more things to talk about now! (:
and talking to people i nvr spoken much to before. like Justin Cheong! lol.
AND able to communicate a bit more to POPO. (:
learnt to play good bridge, and mahjong. (:

praise God for watching over my extended family.
and for Mine! (: 11:07 PM

SWITCHFOOT LIVE IN SINGAPORE 2008

it was the BEST. omt.
seriously! they were. mind blowing! ((:
and i was going crazy from the jumping screaming and headbanging.

me and JO went there quite early cause we were KIASU that we couldnt stand in front. hahahaha. so we sat there and chit chatted the time away.
then FEE and SAM came !(:

so obviously. we started. camwhoring.






we had a Serangoon Club picture too! hahaha. quite funny.

anw we went in. Me and JO in the end stood rather far away cause we decided to queue up for t-shirts before the concert. hahahaha. so retarded.

THE FIREFIGHT. now i know why Seth Sam and Fee are crazy over them. good good good! ((:love the drummer.
anw, after Fire Fight and West Grand Boulevard played, we waited for Switchfoot to come on stage.

AND FINALLY!!!!!!!!! after hearing them SO much on CD, the REAL THING.

MY FAV BASSIST TIM FOREMAN! CUTE AND GOOD CAN! (: he looks a bit like peter petrelli doesnt he? ((:

Jon Foreman. he climbed the barricade! ((:
tim again.

serioously. omt. i sang till i was screaming and all. they were AMAZING.
the left without singing DARE YOU TO MOVE. i was disappointed.
but they cam back for encore. then they played twenty Four. i was like. )):
THEN.
JON started. dare you to move.

OH MAN. THE BEST!!!! ((:

it was the most awesome concert EVER! omt. seriously. good good good.
and it was funny watching how the guys reacted to the music. only seth was headbanging. HAHAHA. and the lanz guy with friends behind me. screaming like crazy.

LOVE SWITCHFOOT!
and tim foreman. 6:03 PM

2:44 PM

i have graduated from MASS PE.

yes! (:
the past 3 weeks of emotional torture is finally over.
over the past 3 weeks, i did:

i dont know. i forgot. lost count.

but we ended with 4 sets of
15 jumping jacks,
10 touch jumps,
15 pushups,
20 crunches,
10 leg raisers,
and 2 GSTs!

wow. it was fun. and torturous,
but i would say i got stronger! lol.
anw.
i hope i get the answer soon.
God. you lay me down beside still waters.
i know i can trust in you. 10:02 PM

one decision im having a hard time over.
and once again,
i feel like im the only one trying hard to maintain our friendship.
remain? where?
with each other?


down with anal-lity and frustratisis. 8:53 PM

thats Charmaine.
Carl, with Riki's trombone in the foreground.
this is my Paper One Lit teacher. he's from New Zealand. funny. but i do miss Mr Fahy. ):
and our dearest "DAVID GAN" of the class giving Bronson a makeover.
say goodbye to the curls FOREVER. not. he just shook his head and the curls came back.

anw, it has been a good few weeks of 2008. school has been rather alright. tiring, but still alright.

IM ACTUALLY HANDING UP MY HOMEWORK ON TIME! ((: and im starting to be okay with Mass PE. haahahahahahaha. and did i mention? i LOVE my Paper Four LIT teacher.

MR GLASCOW! his damn nice. and cool too! (:

anw, for some ereason, my parents and me and my brother are going up to Melaka tmrw.

for what i dont know. oh well.

YEAH! i went to watch Cloverfield with Charles! its my first one on one outing with him. hard to believe> yes. MY BROTHER. anw, we camwhored abit.

iim happy, (: Thank You Jesus.

8:09 PM