goodbye blogger.

hello livejournal.

(: but im keeping this for memories'sake

im one nostalgic person. ((:

http://pullouthestops.livejournal.com

((: relink. 5:54 PM

MIND CAFE VISIT TWO

without the weighing thoughts of a upcoming maths exam,
this was much more exciting.
and with 3 times the number of people. whooo.
we were the negative externalities. not the ones suffering it.
SERANGOON CLUB VOLUNTEERS OUTING.

first was dinner at PS, the famous Nasi Panggan.
then yummy TAU HUAY, courtesy of Melvin! ((:
then Mind Cafe games.
we played Taboo! and Banana Slap and how could we forget

SABOTEUR



me fee and ben are just ADDICTED to that game.
we were so noisy and drama. it was more enjoyable than the previous time. (:

made a nemesis cause i kept blocking him.
and threw away a card that could be used to save him.
HAHAHAHA.

was fun mannxxx.
i wanna go back! ((: 10:50 PM

BACK TO SCHOOL.

after a really really really long break.
wasnt exactly a break. but it was one from school.
now exams are over, and we all need to get over our horrible mid year results and start out 2 plus months race towards As.
im not exactly in a state of panic or stress now.
more of one in denial.
that As are approaching, the year's ending, im turning 18 soon.
its all too fast.

what happened to stop and smell the roses.

but in Singapore, well, that will never happen.
other than the fact that we do not have roses along sidewalks, we do not have the privilege to take our time to do things.
its all deadlines, fast approaching D-days.
i kinda wanna have life in NZ were i can sit on grass, watch clouds go by, analyse sheeps' poo, hear cows moo...etc.

but. i'll not know what to do with my free time.
so back to the topic of back to school.
im happy im back, but im unhappy that i know i have to start working hard.
its a love-hate situation.
in anycase, i know God's watching over me, he's giving me blessings, and helping me through so much.

come to think of it, i never do well enough to get to top schools, or bad enough to go to the worse schools. God always provides me with whats best for me. i think if i went to TKGS i'll turn out weird, or if i went to YJ i'll prolly be mugging my ass off now.
but he brought me to KCP and CJC where im able to do things at paces i can handle, and still have time to waste sitting at Minds Cafe playing Saboteur 2 nights before a maths examination.

a 16 pointer, doing, with God's blessings, relatively well in class.
though i've goten 34/100 for maths, its something i can work harder on.

really thank JESUS for everything. ((: friends, family, food.



4:50 PM

BRISBANE 2008

well it was a good way to end my journey in CJCSB
the weather was awesome and i really had a good time.
though my mood were bad on some days due to the exhaustion. but it ended really well.
with awesome shopping and fun.
we rocked the griffith university concert hall!! ((:
Turandot was AMAZING. in the tuning room, Nessun Dorma was hair raising.
awesome stufff.
AT THE AIRPORT.


AT QUEEN'S STREET BRISBANE.
CITIGATE HOTEL (first night)

TERRACES AT WICKHAM


south bank i think.

5:55 PM

im finally back to blog. HA
comp just crashed so im here in school to blog.
life has been mundane as usual.
but the past weekend was awesome.
on saturday we had a Godchasers seminar with Pastor Tommy Tenny.
it was amazing (: i think my hunger for God was renewed.
pastor tommy is super funny. ahahaha. i heart him alot.
and i feel less stressed about school now. i think God took some of it away.

mugging starts now. so im gonna stay in school almost everynight for night study.
may God give me renewed strength that comes from him. ((:

oh yeah. i have yet to annouce here.
im recently stuck on Dong Bang Shin Ki.
well, they may seem like a boyband that is like super feminine and such.
but they dohave standards.
i dont think many people can dance and sing like them.
plus they can do acapella.
so they arent just pretty. they are good.

JUNSU! ((:

and no reuben, they are much better than backstreet boys. 3:02 PM

im finally back!
blogger is finally working on my comp! ((:

anw, these few weeks had be crazy crazy crazy.
school work plus band plus church. everything was just. whew...
anw, Con Fuoco VI was on saturday.
sad to say, it wasnt the best we could perform, but everyone said it was much better than last year's.
and according to brother, " the best i've seen in 6 years" coming from a man who mistook our syf to be at VCH, we'll see how reliable that is.

i've been rather moody lately.
like i talk considerably less. okay maybe not.
but sometimes, i just dont want to say anything.
and just listen to my music.
im glad band concert's over.
now im gonna start mugging.
its freaky how its already May, and i havent started studying.
History and Gp's in like. less than 2 weeks.
and im still like. in the mood for wasting my free periods on eating and stuff.
i dont care if people say im stressing out, or im a mugger.
but truth is, i'll be spending 6 precious days of my june hols in Gold Coast with the band. band trip means band rehearsals before. so we'll see how much time i get to study.
after that there's YA volunteer's retreat whcih i dont plan on missing cause i miss YA too much.
then there's cluster camp. which ends. lets see.
5 pathetic days before my Literature paper which im so totally not prepared for.

i know i have to compromise on something.
or a few things.
band is not one of the choices.
and i dont wanna give up YA. been missing too much for band.
and cluster camp. i really wanna be there. though i know i need the time to study.

so what do i have left?
less social life now. till after mids.
or maybe As.

maybe i need to surrender my fear of my exam.
i have this tendency to feel totally prepared,
and do badly for major exams.
look at PSLE.
before that i've been doing rather well in class.
but i graduated with a sad 228.
and Os.
before that, well, not doing great, but i thought i had it in control.
and i got 16.

but praise be to God who always leads us in triumphant procession.
God has used my measly results in the eyes of man, and got me to where i am.
though with bad results, im able to be in the same school as people who had a much better result history.
guess i just got to learn to trust Him. once again.


come to think of it, i've been looking at my timetable alot lately. been trying to plot out my life.
and i've been so frustrated doing it cause things just keep popping up and i dont seem to be able to do it at all. Maybe God's trying to say something.

sorry if this entry seems disorganised. it reflects the situation in my mind now.

i miss my YA kids esp Jiayuan,
i miss my free-er days,
days where i had so much time for God.

sorry God. if i compromised on you. Help me. to get back to you again.


runaway runaway like a prodigal. Don't you wait for me don't you wait for me.
so ashamed so ashamed, but i need you so. Won't you wait for me? Won't you wait for me. 8:42 PM

THANK YOU JESUS.

these few days have really been amazing.

my common test results.
werent amazing but. THANK YOU JESUS.
considering what i usually produce in class. this time is okayy.
and to my musketeers in class.
DONT WORRY! you guys just didnt start early enough! you're smart people! ((:
lets work hard tog!

Sanctification
i'll blog more later. after tonight.
it so far has been amazing!

Cell
we got together for gatherings. ((: eggciting.
so many things happening in our lives.

oh well! thank you Jesus!

well, i have regrets neglecting certain relationships with people.
now i feel. far away from them.
hope it'll get better. 11:00 AM

YA SURVIVAL CAMP 2008.

seriously the BEST thing that happened to me this year.

i went in with a heavy heart cause i knew i couldnt stay throughout the camp cause i had to leave on Monday and on Wednesday.
BUT God is Good. and he removed that dread in my heart.

on Saturday we had YA Funfair at Ngee Ann Primary. i think Serangoon Club kids had fun.
Benny redeemed the Transformers toy to mine and seth's dismay.
and my dear Jiayuan was the first to redeem a car thats worth 70 points. and he was so sweet that he used the last 5 pts to redeem twisties for me cause i was hungry. to mine Benlee and Yanyi's happiness. in anycase, the kids left and we started our Volunteers orientation. we had dinner then proceeded to do briefing.
i was main counsellor of AZTECS 3!
in the beginning i was quite worried for my group cause my counsellors were all not from FC and erm. i was quite. alien to them. but that worry was dissipated later.
slept at 4 am cause had nice Macs Supper with pam joce ben shijun edwin and people.

woke up at 5.45am on Sunday morning and did my quiet time.
guess it was cool cause i managed to spend 1 whole hour just talking to God.
went up and took a half an hour nap. left for church. was cool. we prayed for one whole hour. and more.
then left back for Ngee Ann and prepared for the arrival of the kids.
slowly my kids all arrived.
Fidiyana, Anisa, Isaac, Han, Ryan, Sarah, Jia Wen, Jin Kai, Hasif.
they are really. cool.
like the first day they were cheering and stuff so i was really happy! ((:
the day went on really smoothly and we had the cool water bombing at night. was fun! ((:
AZTECS is reallly cooll.

anw, Monday morning i woke up at 6. read my psalms then woke the kids up for breakfast.
we had breakfast packed then the kids went off for Changi Beach walk and outdoor cooking while i had to go for band. which i fell asleep during sectionals. hahaha.
reached back around 6 plus. had dinner then took the kids ard for structured experience. once again. the group was really good! (: LOVE THEM PLEASE. at night, we had briefing. and we prayed really hard. that was when God really began to do a work in me.
Pastor shared something to us and it reallu affected me. it mademe angry upset and sad at the same time. we prayed hard and everyone was touched by the Lord. then after the briefing i sat down with Lijuan and just cried. really cried. for like half an hour or more. the both of us just cried. at that point time i really just. i think i really felt how Jesus felt. slept ard 4am.

Tuesday morning woke up at 6am and then brought the kids down for breakfast. then we took a TYA photo! ((: was quite funny. anw, left for Amazing Race. we walked from Ngee Ann to Marine Parade. and completed some of the tasks. on the way back, it started pouring heavily. me and my kids were stuck at one of the pavillons and they were kinda entertaining themselves. after awhile though, it started raining heavier with thunder and stuff, and some of them started feeling cold. esp. Hasif. he was coughing and shivering. i placed him on my lap and hugged him and the otehr kids were also cold. so in the end Yiji came to fetch the girls and Hasif back and then came back 2 more times to send the rest of us back. we reached back and we had campfire. we taught the clan some stuff and we performed it. was quite fun cause AZTECS just went crazy! ((: and i manged to talk to some of the hong ka people and made friends with yong hao and jordan cause they found my accent funny. in any case, at the end of the campfire we sang forever friends and some of my kids started crying. Sarah, Jin Kai, Fidiyana all started crying. what really touched me the most was when i saw yong hao and nicholas crying. i really felt at that moment. this camp really made an impact on their lives. i just hugged the kids and they just cried even more. even i did. and i really. knew at that moment. whatever i was feeling on monday night abt being insignificant was all gone and i knew at that moment, God was answering my prayers. he was using the insignificant things that i did to touch the lives of the children. and really. PRAISE GOD.

Wednesday morning i had to leave for Band. but i said bye to the kids and took pictures. i hope they miss me cause i miss them alot. ((: anw, the camp was really. awesome. as what Ben said. we Rest in the midst of the storm and God's blessing will be greater even with less. we rested in God cause we constantly entrusted things to his hand. and even though many of the activities couldnt be carried out to its full course, the impact we had on the kids was even greater. and God really Asnwered our prayers.

THANK YOU JESUS! 11:51 PM

the first time in my life,
God spoke to me SO strongly during sermon.
the last 15 mins i was tearing and sniffing,
and God really was doing a work in my heart.

lets begin from worship.
beginning of worship pastor Eugene said to us

"cast all your cares on him, and he'll sustain you"

and during worship.

"call upon the name of the Lord, and be saved"

God was already preparing me for the word he's about to bring to me.
i shld lay down all my burdens to him, and then i'll be able to sustain living.

before that, i was just thinking how im gonna sustain school and studying till after As,
since im feeling quite tired now.
guess my question is answered. (:

anw, the sermon was about Brokenness.
and the thing that really hit home was,
the limit at which God can use you is the level of your Brokenness.

when pastor started talking about Psalm 51, i looked back on the song that i wrote on the 20thfeb,
and said. " it must be divine. God's saying something"

then he mentioned something about ministry. that we're so caught up with a flawless performance, but its not the thing that God desires. i guess many a times, im so caught up with "did i sing well?" or " did i teach the kids well?" or "did i lead well?" that i forget. what God really wants.
he doesnt want a performance thats perfect, he wants. ME. and a broken spirit so that i HAVE to rely on him.

by then i was already crying and when we stood up to sing a hymn, God just broke me.
my heart was juat so heavy, and i really felt unworthy of his Grace. i was in Utter Desperation about
the Condition of my heart,
The need for Cleansing of my Spirit,
and for the new creation of God.

and when he gave that invitation, i went up to the altar.
and God just Broke me again. after such a long time.
and after breaking me, he restored me. gave me assurance,
gave me joy in the knowledge that he will continue to use me, and im ready to find joy in serving him again.

God is Wonderful. 7:29 PM

it seems like time is slowing down,
giving me an immeasurable amount of time to feel stressed about Common Tests.

i know its JUST common tests.
but i wanna do my best to know where i stand.
if i cant like. study substantially for CTs, what am i gonna do during As?

i know. i'll faint and die.

loads of pictures to update. abt Rockafella which really blew me away,
the cool room we found thtas simply. hotel-lish.
and school! (:

Night Study was rather productive today.
i realise i dont talk much to dom and lilian when studying. so thats a good thing.
cept my stomach was hurting throughout.
and the group of students behind me that were whispering to one another acros tables.
which just sounds like talking in a really husky and airy tone.
and its stupid cause everyone can still hear you. whats the point of WHISPERING if you're gonna talk loudly? i can hear them so clearly when my music stops playing and takes an intermission of 3 secs. sigh.

im gonna Night Study more.
and there's no band fora week.
dont think i should be happy since im gonna miss practice due to YA camp.
but then again. it means more time to study. 1:00 AM

Happy Valentine's Day!


not to be a cynic.
but what really is the significance of Valentine's Day?
i mean for couples?
a day to show your love?
personally i feel thatlove should be expressed daily. every min and every hour.
maybe im an idealist. but if you do so, why wait till this day to give flowers?

in any case, Valentines Day has been twitched through these years to not only be a time of giving for couples, but for friends.
(: i did enjoy myself today.
Joanne surprised me with 3 roses. (:

butwhat im saying is a paradox. ithink the significance of the day is well. silly.
BUT. i still like it.

but well. while most have only ONEdate for today,
i had TWO.

first was VIVIEN MACHINE GAN.
i got to know her more today! abt her secondary school life and everything.
(: love you millions.

next was. well. WORK.
i finished my tutorial outline for history
and did some studying for Econs.
but well. istill have to complete my UN assignment which was due. well
today.

OH WELL.

i finished 2.4 in 15.30 today. (: happy. 7:40 PM

5:31 PM

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR.

the first two days are over and it was been a fruitful one.
though the nmber of houses we have to visit has significantly decreased,
it has been more fruitful.

i have grown closer to my cousins. i think.
more things to talk about now! (:
and talking to people i nvr spoken much to before. like Justin Cheong! lol.
AND able to communicate a bit more to POPO. (:
learnt to play good bridge, and mahjong. (:

praise God for watching over my extended family.
and for Mine! (: 11:07 PM

SWITCHFOOT LIVE IN SINGAPORE 2008

it was the BEST. omt.
seriously! they were. mind blowing! ((:
and i was going crazy from the jumping screaming and headbanging.

me and JO went there quite early cause we were KIASU that we couldnt stand in front. hahahaha. so we sat there and chit chatted the time away.
then FEE and SAM came !(:

so obviously. we started. camwhoring.






we had a Serangoon Club picture too! hahaha. quite funny.

anw we went in. Me and JO in the end stood rather far away cause we decided to queue up for t-shirts before the concert. hahahaha. so retarded.

THE FIREFIGHT. now i know why Seth Sam and Fee are crazy over them. good good good! ((:love the drummer.
anw, after Fire Fight and West Grand Boulevard played, we waited for Switchfoot to come on stage.

AND FINALLY!!!!!!!!! after hearing them SO much on CD, the REAL THING.

MY FAV BASSIST TIM FOREMAN! CUTE AND GOOD CAN! (: he looks a bit like peter petrelli doesnt he? ((:

Jon Foreman. he climbed the barricade! ((:
tim again.

serioously. omt. i sang till i was screaming and all. they were AMAZING.
the left without singing DARE YOU TO MOVE. i was disappointed.
but they cam back for encore. then they played twenty Four. i was like. )):
THEN.
JON started. dare you to move.

OH MAN. THE BEST!!!! ((:

it was the most awesome concert EVER! omt. seriously. good good good.
and it was funny watching how the guys reacted to the music. only seth was headbanging. HAHAHA. and the lanz guy with friends behind me. screaming like crazy.

LOVE SWITCHFOOT!
and tim foreman. 6:03 PM

2:44 PM

i have graduated from MASS PE.

yes! (:
the past 3 weeks of emotional torture is finally over.
over the past 3 weeks, i did:

i dont know. i forgot. lost count.

but we ended with 4 sets of
15 jumping jacks,
10 touch jumps,
15 pushups,
20 crunches,
10 leg raisers,
and 2 GSTs!

wow. it was fun. and torturous,
but i would say i got stronger! lol.
anw.
i hope i get the answer soon.
God. you lay me down beside still waters.
i know i can trust in you. 10:02 PM

one decision im having a hard time over.
and once again,
i feel like im the only one trying hard to maintain our friendship.
remain? where?
with each other?


down with anal-lity and frustratisis. 8:53 PM

thats Charmaine.
Carl, with Riki's trombone in the foreground.
this is my Paper One Lit teacher. he's from New Zealand. funny. but i do miss Mr Fahy. ):
and our dearest "DAVID GAN" of the class giving Bronson a makeover.
say goodbye to the curls FOREVER. not. he just shook his head and the curls came back.

anw, it has been a good few weeks of 2008. school has been rather alright. tiring, but still alright.

IM ACTUALLY HANDING UP MY HOMEWORK ON TIME! ((: and im starting to be okay with Mass PE. haahahahahahaha. and did i mention? i LOVE my Paper Four LIT teacher.

MR GLASCOW! his damn nice. and cool too! (:

anw, for some ereason, my parents and me and my brother are going up to Melaka tmrw.

for what i dont know. oh well.

YEAH! i went to watch Cloverfield with Charles! its my first one on one outing with him. hard to believe> yes. MY BROTHER. anw, we camwhored abit.

iim happy, (: Thank You Jesus.

8:09 PM

I HAVE CONFORMED.





9:51 PM

to be surrounded by people.
and yet feel alone.





will this phase ever pass. 7:57 PM

7:09 PM

how time flies.
its the year 2008.
the year of A levels.
the year of Sabbath
the year of better friendships and relationships to come!
and the year of intimacy with the Lord.

last year was the year of VICTORY.
i would gladly say there were many victories in my life.

1) Got into the school of my choice.
2) Grew to like my class.
3) learnt Trombone! (:
4) Gold in SYF.
5) Presentation Night
6) many more church friends!
7) Co wrote a song for Gkidz
8) led my first half-worship in Timothy Club
9)blessed more than 20 people.
10) read more of the bible.
11) new found amazing trusted friends Cordelia, BenKheng, Sandra and Asher.
12) Dream of singing on Max Pavillion stage fulfilled.
13)YA Serangoon! managed to put aside time to serve God outside of Church.
14)Good Progress Award, improvement from Mids to Promos.
15)heard God's Voice!!!!

only 15 of the victories i had. more but probably too many to list.
really thank God for all the friends he gave me.
and all the Fun! ((:

anw, last night we ushered in the New Year at Expo, with our CountDown Party,
where Gkidz musical band, choir and cast were asked to perform a song.
piictures! ((:

THE COOLEST PEOPLE YOU'LL EVER KNOW!
ENFPs IDs and Advocates.
ENFPs advocates! (:

good friends! (:

Mr. Waiter.



2:02 PM

CHRISTMAS MUSICAL.

from silly behaviour in rehearsals.

to SMART CASUAL dressins on D-day.
to visitors from far away.
and the friends with the closest personality type you'll EVER find. ENFPs rule.

11:55 AM

im glad we had the talk.
i knew i should have trusted you from the start.
i shouldnt have believed in the other who had hurt me before.

im sorry i didnt talk to you two about this earlier. (:
im glad i can trust you! ((: 12:31 AM

11:16 PM

11:50 PM

my suspicions have been confirmed.
im just waiting till they finally trust me enough to tell me.
im not gonna probe, or say anything about it.
just gonna wait.

anw, i've been missing too much of Club.
i miss the kids. and the volunteers. its such a pity that when i look at the emails
they're so exciting but i cant be there.
did God really want me to serve there? or did i act on my own accord.
cause it seems that Band or Gkidz isnt gonna allow me to be there till next year.
thats a drag.
but im gonna trust God for all he has done in me through serving these children,
and hopefully, they will miss me as much as i miss them.
which. is. well.

oh well.
its not about our capabilities. just about our availability.
my availability is rather low at the moment. what does that mean.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
life's a drag. 11:28 PM

after nearly 3 weeks.
5 pictures from my first 2gb memory card taken in Sydney/New Zealand.

this tree is the coolest. the outside it looks like a cone. inside. its awesome. cool and shady.
well, the only time you're bigger than the Sydney opera House.
in New Zealand, on the Buller Gorge South Island's longest swing bridge. its freaky up there!but WAY cool. (:
some random picture. if i laid down abit further behind, i'll probably not be here anymore. and well. yes. some where on the way to Kaikoura. i think. they all look the same.

oh well. life's been bitter.
ever since the last time i blogged,
i learnt things.
-people who seemed totally okay with you might just turn around and stab you in the back.
thats not really new. just reiterated.
-singing with two other people isnt that easy afterall. i must learn to blend and mix my voice in. cannot be too overpowering, or strong as i usually sound.
-singing on stage isnt that easy. not when the music comes from the monitor in front of you, and your voice from the one above and infront of you.
-my face is a new shade of green.

but life's been sweet too.
bonding with some of the people.
band has been alright other than the scoldings.
i watched Enchanted twice.
studying has been relaxed yet enriching. i figured i like studying alone outside. its more productive. less distracting.
funny conversations with Joe.

i figured. i'll be free soon. then it'll be the whole rush towards As.
i have to start on math soon.
dont remind me. ): 11:04 PM

im hurting.

out of the blue.
after having not fallen for a long time
i fell down TWICE today.

TWICE.

who the heck falls twice in a day.
the first one was while running down the travellator.
you know how stupid i felt.

the second one was because the floor was wet.
and i slipped and fell flat on the right side of my face/head.
it was throbbing after that.
the left side of my jaw now hurts when i open my mouth,
my right cheek is turning black/purple.
my head is throbbing and is aching.
not to mention that my knees are scraped.

the pain is one thing. but the embarrassment is a whole other level.
i dont really care about that cause i know if they really are my friends,
they wont laugh because of that

which brings me to another reason why im hurting.
the people that i was so close to beginning this year.
they feel so distant.
i dont even tell them anything anymore.
and it seems im their topic of discussion.

you know how painful i feel?

too bad there isnt a doctor for heart pains.
or one that could immediately relieve you of your pains.
but there is a God.
and im sorry i havent been talking to you much God.
i guess my fall is a huge wake up call.
to make me realise that without you i cant walk.
and without you in my heart, pride will overtake.
this fall really humbled me and showed me how much i need to rely on you. but Jesus, im hurting.
make it go away. 6:06 PM

Thank God for the amazing birthday i had. (:

even though it was nothing SURPRISING, it was indeed warm!

Melissa and Annabelle treat me to lunch at Billy Bombers,
Inez and Syairah gave me this pretty jewel thing!
Jiff and Xiling bought me a slice of yummy cake,
Cell Group gave me a bag and a i'd call it obnoxious balloon and a wonderful birthday dinner,
the next day Nick Vujicic came down to Church and his 25th birthday is tmrw and i got to HUG HIM!
cell group celebrated in church with 17 donuts.
dinner with ben sand and crys at sakae.

amazing! praise god for everything! (:
and all the birthday wishes from the most shocking of people. hahahaha. 11:29 PM

happy birthday!

as each year passes,
each birthday means less and less.
i rmbr the time when i harboured hope for the perfect birthday surprise celebration.
i always thought, it was pointless to throw your own party.
it would mean so much more to have someone else arrange it for you.
it came to the time when i felt like the birthday surprise was gonna come one year after one year.
to last year, i gave up waiting.
grim post for a birthday girl.
last year's "sweet sixteen" was indeed horrible.
this year's probably not gonna be much better.
9 - 4 at band practice.

but well, it was a nice pre birthday!
had my first musical band rehearsal.
it was good. (: i managed to catch up and we learnt the new song.
it was good. taxing thought.
but daniel and charissa are good. joel and jerald too! ((:
and we did prophetic prayer and worship.
God spoke to me through Cordelia's song.

give me control.
trust in me
give me control again.

it was an amazing time.
though a short 10 minutes.
Lee Hom's in Singapore and Melissa's going gaga.
breathe the same air as him as much as you can! hahahah.

i figured. it isnt that big a deal anymore. 12:33 AM

i need divine intervention.
everything really is clashing
and both expects utmost committment and none will compromise or even care that im caught in the middle.

i definitely cant compromise on band.
and i dont want to on the musical.

please understand my plight.
or even show me some sort of acknowledgement of my difficulty.



jesus help. 3:46 PM

im finally back.
to Boring Singapore as my brother aptly puts it.

the trip overall was rather tiring and routine.
wake up, pack up, breakfast, car ride, stop take some pictures, search for motel, check in, dinner, tv sleep.
but it was refreshing to be able to see a whole new change of scenery and pace of life.

but after the whole refreshing trip,
its like warfare now.
today was a big jolt for me, to reality.
the weight of Gkidz musical rehearsals,
the constant pressure from band practices,
the commitment needed for Network Band.

band practices are 3 times a week,
Gkidz rehearsals are on Friday nights with added rehearsals on Sundays.
network band rehearsals are on random weekday nights and sunday nights.

i have to forfeit Serangoon Club as a result.

and the best of all.

Band concert is on the 21st December,
Network Outreach is on the 22nd December
Musical is on the 23rd December

impressive huh.
im gonna have to learn the art of cloning.

besides, there will be band on the 1st.
isnt it exciting? i doubt many of them will care.

but Nick Vudijcic is coming. thats csomething to look forward to. 11:35 PM

crikey! i've been away for more than a week now.
its funny cause i was SO looking forward to being away from Singapore,
but now, i just CANT WAIT to GET HOME.
well, maybe one push point for me from here to there,
is the fact that
MUSICAL REHEARSALS ARE GOING ON WITHOUT ME.
and with Sandra's updates, i cant wait to start, with much hope that my Band Practices DO NOT CLASH.
sigh

right now, im in the town Greymouth in New Zealand.
the past 6 days, i was travelling from Christchurch, to Kaikoura, to Nelson to Takaka and now where i am.
it has been really awesome.
in terms of scenery and nature, New Zealand wins Australia hand down. (:
really pretty view, like Much Hills, mountain view, seas oceans, cliffs, rocks all you can think off.
MANY PICTURES TOO! (:
oh yeah. the sheep, cows, deers and even LAMAS! hahahaha. ( yeah Alex. thats for you! )

anw, i really cant wait to get back home.
but i'll miss the weather here.
i mean, at 24 im thinking its really warm already.
im gonna DIE when i get back home.

oh well, everyone's MISSED DEARLY! (:
loves! 5:40 PM

whats up mates. (:

my last night in Sydney y'all. hahahaha.
the last 4 days have been awesome.
Blue Mountains was FREEZING though.
like 10? and Cold Wind.
its crazy. i was dressed for SPRING. and it was cold.
and it was rather disappointing cause we all couldnt see the sights that Blue Mountains is famous for due to the amazing natural blinds. FOG.
depressing really.
but i LOVE the weather. like.
i think, when i get back to Singapore, i'll just die from the Heat.
the first day in Sydney was rather. rainy.
but the next two days were really awesome. (:
like Sun with nice temperature of like. 20 degrees?
love it. im dressed in bermudas and stuff. hahahahahahahaha. (:

oh well,
its my last night in Australia.
i kinda. less keen on coming to Sydney to study.
the place has become So congested. its crazy really.
i dont really like it.

but in any case,
Aussie guys are cuter. (: the average looking ones are.
cool. (:

other than guys,
i've been seeing the famous sights like Sydnay Opera House, Harbour Bridge, Darling harbour.
and the Fish Market. ((:
been eating alot. sigh.
anw, my flights at 9am tmrw morning to Christchurch New Zealand.
another 2 weeks mates. (:

i'll be back.

soon. 7:45 PM

11:42 PM

ENFP - The "Advocate"

ENFPs are introspective, values-oriented, inspiring, social and extremely expressive. They actively send their thoughts and ideas out into the world as a way to bring attention to what they feel to be important, which often has to do with ethics and current events. ENFPs are natural advocates, attracting people to themselves and their cause with excellent people skills, warmth, energy and positivity. ENFPs are described as creative, resourceful, assertive, spontaneous, life-loving, charismatic, passionate and experimental.

About the ENFP

"They can't bear to miss out on what is going on around them; they must experience, first hand, all the significant social events that affect our lives." The Portrait of the Champion Idealist(Keirsey)

"ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it." Portrait of an ENFP (The Personality Page)

"Friends are what life is about to ENFPs, moreso even than the other NFs. They hold up their end of the relationship, sometimes being victimized by less caring individuals. ENFPs are energized by being around people. Some have real difficulty being alone, especially on a regular basis." ENFP Profile (TypeLogic)

"outgoing, social, disorganized, easily talked into doing silly things, spontaneous, wild and crazy, acts without thinking..." ENFP Jung Type Descriptions (similarminds.com)

"ENFPs are energetic and enthusiastic leaders who are likely to take charge when a new endeavor needs a visionary spokesperson. ENFPs are values-oriented people who become champions of causes and services relating to human needs and dreams. Their leadership style is one of soliciting and recognizing others' contributions and of evaluating the personal needs of their followers. ENFPs are often charismatic leaders who are able to help people see the possibilities beyond themselves and their current realities. They function as catalysts."
ENFP - The Visionary (Lifexplore)

"Ranked 1st of all 16 types in using social and emotional coping resources and 2nd in using cognitive resources. " ENFP Facts (discoveryourpersonality.com)


famous people:
Bob Dylan - singer-songwriter, musician
Charles Dickens -English novelist
Sandra Bullock - actress
Dr Seuss- writer, cartoonist

careers:
Actor
Consultant
Church Worker
Career Counselor
Diplomat
Homemaker
Journalist
Lawyer/Attorney
Musician
Politician
Psychologist/Counselor
Public RelationTeacher/ProfessorTrainer




i was bored. 11:27 PM

9:59 PM

9:39 PM

A young man named Tristan (Charlie Cox) tries to win the heart of Victoria (Sienna Miller), the beautiful but cold object of his desire, by going on a quest to retrieve a fallen star. His journey takes him to a mysterious and forbidden land beyond the walls of his village. On his odyssey, Tristan finds the star, which has transformed into a striking girl named Yvaine (Claire Danes). However, Tristan is not the only one seeking the star. Lord Stormhold's (Peter O'Toole) three living sons not to mention the ghosts of their four dead brothers all need the star as they vie for the throne. Tristan must also overcome the evil witch, Lamia (Michelle Pfeiffer), who needs the star to make her young again. As Tristan battles to survive these threats, encountering a pirate named Captain Shakespeare (Robert De Niro) and a shady trader named Ferdy the Fence (Ricky Gervais) along the way, his quest changes. He must now win the heart of the star for himself as he discovers the meaning of true love
11:27 PM

10:48 PM

3:27 PM

congratulations to Pastor Lawrence and Feifei on the arrival of the long awaited
JONAS!
a healthy heavy handsome and sleepy baby!

when i heard the news i was just excited. i've talked to him while he was still in Ps Feifei's stomach. but now that i see him, its really amazing how God formed him.
he's really good looking. (:


me and Lijuan couldnt resist a picture! (:

and of course. whats a hospital visit without some creepy pictures.


Ps stealing Ps Feifei's food! hahahaha. the kids were so excited (:



oh well. (:
im in love with WANG LEE HOM and his Australian guitarist CHRIS WRIGHT.
i mean. he's 20 and he won some guitar competition. he's just good. and tall. and cute! (:
and wang lee hom.
i'd never thought i'll ever say this about a chinese singer.
BUT I LOVE HIM

he can:
dance
do kungfu
sing really really well.
drum really well
play guitar really well
play piano really really really well
play violin really really well.

OH MY! im in love,
all thanks to melissa.
sigh. i've a weakness for musicians. 9:41 PM

reminiscing.

looking through my posts for this year,
i saw a few things that struck me.
things that i hope wont happen are happening,
and things i wanted to happen are also happening now.

"i hope the section will continue to be the way it is now, and not drift away from one another"

this is the statement that evoked a feeling of sadness. of hurt. of near disappointment.
despite my efforts to bring the section close to one another, we just arent.
everything i've done were just superficial.
the section isnt the same. once band ended,
we all went our separate paths.
that was something i didnt want to happen.
im just sad. something i havent felt that much in a long time.
perhaps a sense of pity. i thought we could be a strong close group of friends that goes beyond band.
guess i was wrong. but Xiling has been there for me to talk to. even with her need to study, will make time for my rantings.
hope everything will come back to normal once As are over.


"God please help me, i surrender all to you"

this one. really brought about thanksgiving and praise for my King.
the time before promos were tough.
i was really struggling. but during the music conference
i laid everything down to God. something i've not been able to do before.
and things really worked out.
im moving on to J2, and im closer to my class.
which is great and awesome.
praise God.

well. its the weekends and i dont feel anything at all.
i'll miss the class.
but i look forward to church.
its times like this. that i need to find my new aim in life.
i know my one goal will always to be to draw close to God.
but this aim, to bring me to the next stage of running towards my As in As.

perhaps to learn to manage my time and finances?
i dont know.
im not sure.
im not sure about many things these days.

and im in a huge debt.
but im having problems handling my finances.
kill me. 9:23 PM

it was a normal day in T13.
til Sherman took out his guitar and starting playing songs.

i realised. bronson and him have really nice songs.
i have one i particularly like.
and Sherm's a good guitarist!
besides, we can sing songs like.
Heart of Worship, Majesty and stuff. was cool. (:
we sang Amazing Grace, attempting to harmonise 3 different ways. hahaha.


and Mr Li bought Ice Cream for us. which resulted. in of course. pictures. ((:

hannah's a messy eater.

after that, me and Annabelle proceeded to IKEA for some fun! (:

I LOVE THE ELEPHANT!


and our gravy jam man! ((:
5:29 PM

i need something to spice up my blog.



8:06 PM

D for delphne.

seriously.

History: D

GP: D

Economics: D

Literature paper 4: D

and math: U.
but praying for a moderation. to an S. i missed by a point!

and also that Lit can maintain the D with my disgusting midyears. or a C

THANK YOU FATHER IN HEAVEN!
seriously. im surprised by my results. during the whole duration of the exams,
i was playing like no one's business.
YA snow city.
Dinners.
hahahahahaha. ((:

and i managed.
that goes to show to leaning on God is the best thing i've ever done.
i mean. its the first time i didnt hold on to what i want to give to me.
and i really gave it up.
THANK YOU GOD!
he's so good! ((: 9:21 PM

7:43 PM

FAST FOOD.
blessing or curse?

with the entry of fast food restaurants into our society's
people are amazed by the convenience brought about by it.
nice and appealing foods, rather fast services.

but do the advantages really outweigh(literally) the disadvantages?

with fast foods come increased in weights, to obesity, health problems.
because it is so convenient, people turn to it more often. and as a result, put on unhealthy weight.
my thought were provoked by a film i watched in GP lesson today.

yes. some migh think its stupid and that the guy is just trying to gain some fame. but i believe he was actively proving to the world that Macdonald's aint all they claim.

within the one month he had started on this Macdonald's binge, his cholesterol went on an all high, his liver was on the bringe of failing, he put on. more than 10% of his weight.

nutritionists and doctors could hardly believe that a Macdonald's binge could result in the same adverse effects as Smoking or Drinking.

it serves as a great warning to us, who looks to fast food as our main source of food.

and not to mentions, America is turning into the FATTEST nation in the world. check it out.

why? because the average American eats at Macdonald's nearly 4 times a week.

well. im not gonna touch Macs for a long time.

but what if we're going KAP TMRW!? ahhaahahhaa.

8:47 PM

oh well! ((:

first band practiice today was quite awesome.
had fun Sightreading. hahahaha.
and then sir and a few of us together with Xiling Salimah and Zhen Jie went for dinner at.
yes. Subway. heehee. (((: 10:20 PM

all blacks lost to france.

believe it? no?
i cant either.

after suffering such a major blow when Australia lost to England,
i had to wake up in the morning to a
" NEW ZEALAND LOST TO FRANCE. 2 POINTS"
im beginning to thing. theres some. 2 points thing going on.

but i watched the replay
at france try was a forward pass.
and the referee didnt call for a scrum.
PLUS. the french defender upper tackled the SpringBok.
what happened to fair and alert judging?!?!?!?!?!

im devastated.

in anw case.
AT LEAST SOUTH AFRICA WON.
i mean it was such a close fight.
FIJI drew with SA 20-20 once.
and i nearly dropped dead.
there was this point where Fiji was SO SO close to trying.
BUT!
SA refused to let them try. and tackled till they had a scrum and turned the tables.

Joann Smith scored one of the coolest tries of my short rugby match appreciations.
he held the ball till the scrum was close to the trying line. and dived and tried.
WAS.
WOAH!!!!!!!
and Montgomery Montgomery Montgomery. WOOO.

okay. im on a high now! ((:
YAY SOUTH AFRICA!

11:16 PM

11:29 PM

1:35 AM

LiJuan's Burstday(as fee calls it) celebration! ((:
step one: make her VERY dirty.
6:15 PM

SNOW CITY!

was fun. a more detailed update to be given when i;ve received all my pictures. ((:
anw, the kids really had fun.
AND I DID TOO!.

screamed everytime i went down the hill. HAHAHAHA. funny. the guy was laughing at me.

IT WAS FREAKING - 6.7 degrees INSIDE.
EVERYONE KEPT LAUGHING AT MY RED CHEEKS WHEN I CAME OUT.

me and poh wei. (:
Ben and a few other guys. hee
me Xi ya and Xi hui

after snowcity was DINNER AND TAUHUAY!

and presenting. LEVIN BOTAK SOH! ((((((:

(he looked angry with his lack of hair. sigh)
aircon. chill out. HI-FIVE. tease. aircon. tease. laugh. HIFIVE. laugh. laugh. spit. choke. spit choke. HIFIVE. tease. aircon... HIFIVE SETH!!!!!!!!!! ahahahahhaa
sam and feee.
sammy sam sam

feewheemee me and sammy.

anw, it was funny. HAHAHA.

thanks to SAM for the drive home and SETH for the new message tone. HAHAHAHA.besides. you do very good Nepal accents. LOL.

million dollar pictures up for grabs. first come first serve, highest bidder wins. starting price. $1 000 000.

11:12 PM

10:21 PM

my brain explodes.

honestly. did anyone tell poets
7:12 PM

ruining the mooncakes. tsk. JUST KIDDING.
told you we had fun peeling pomelos.
my station
EVERYONE ELSE JUST WANTED TO PLAY TWISTER. ))))): SEE

10:29 PM

today was KIDS' DAY FOR ME.

was a WHOLE day of playing. shouting. playing shouting. playing shouting. playing...
you get my drift.
YES. was awesome.

morning started off rather. depressingly.
but i got better when i met Sandy! ((;
hahahaha.

played games with the TIM kids. AHAHAHA.
and played with Megan. this TOTALLY cute and easily excitable baby. (((((;

anw. after that went down to Serangoon to Stef's house.
annoying ben and olivia with the pump thing. HAHAHA. ((((:
me and Stef had ALOT of fun peeling Pomelos. hAHAHAHA.
funny. i should show you the picture.

went down to Club.
i helped out with the P6 today. with Ben.

now i know what they go through EVERY WEEK
OH THE HORROR!
gee. lets summarise.
Pingzhi scolds you for helping him.
Adeline distracting EVERYONE with her water babies but i would say. she forced Keith to do his work for me. sweet girl.
Keith was running ard, refusing to do his homework.
Roy didnt do any. didnt bring any.
Poh Wei Refused to do and only did because Ben told him to. i felt redundant. but he made a flower for me later on. sweet kid. (:
Chee Wee and Chee Kang were the most hardworking but KEPT asking me questions.
Jared was just Noisy.
but anw.
the celebrations for Lantern Festival was fun later on anyway.
FUN FUN.
((: though Ben and Angela did whatever they could to make me lose in Twister.
those two..
ate mooncake and LOTS OF POMELA.
yes LOTS. i was scavenging from like. everyone. HA.
and we played Bingo.
wassurprisingly fun.
then FINALLY. sparklers and lanterns. fun fun! ((((:

more pictures when FEE comes online.
and next week's SNOW CITY.
fee ben me to. 25 kids. YAY.
goats and monkeys! 9:10 PM

10:13 PM

" i ate sarcasm " 9:32 AM

today was the LAST religion class we were going to have for the year.
and they told us to reflect.
and really want to thank people for the differences they made in my life.
i wanna thank God for showing me true friends, friends who were there through other sour relationships.
in no order whatsoever

AsherTan: thanks for being the one always there to guide, and poke fun at me. or scare cordelia. (: you have made an impact in my life.

BenjaminKheng: thanks for being funny, always there for me to laugh at, and also a wonderful person to talk about things. and for encouraging me too! ((:

CORDELIAYEO: thanks for being there to just talk nonsense with, to laugh at people(hinthint) and to study with. you really are a GREAT friend. (:

ABC:you guys are really appreciated.

SandraTang: thanks for being funny. (: and an IceCream lover like me. heeheehee

Levin, Seth, Sam, Fidelia, Ben: thanks for always being there for dinner/movies

Fidelia: for being so awesome a YA leader and a friend. ((: shopping buddy too!

Ben: for helping with the recording even though i dragged you in, but you put in your best effort and thanks for that! (:

DoratheExplorer: THANKS FOR LETTING ME RECORD! (: was a great experience. we share the same plight in school and all and i really thank god for you. for encouraging me and all

StefYee:Thanks for encouraging me whenever im down, for always asking if im alright! (: and for the Free Disney airing that day. HEHEEE. ((:

Yaofeng, Xiling, Tarun, inez, brandon, michelle : for making Life in CJ not that bad afterall.

Alexandria: for trying to be there for me in class. (::

PW(Mel, Hil, Bel): I LOVE YOU BOYS! (((: for making PW so enjoyable and awesome!!! ((:


yup. anw. i have a confession to make.
i lost my temper at my parents just now. and im guilty about it.
god forgive me and help me control it! 9:25 PM

life's been awesome.
lets see i took a break from studying for about.
4 consecutive nights.
YAY ME. ):

wed i went for dinner,
thurs i went for the leaders' meeting,
friday i watched RAT-TA-TOO-EE
glad i did anyway.
had loads of fun.
How Great is Our God,
New Haircut
Hairspray Sounds.
Family Guy.
yeah and just now,
i was supposed to study at Stef's house.
Note: SUPPOSED.

yeah. you guessed it.
i ended up watching the Man U match against Everton,
High School Musical Two,
Australia Vs Wales.rugby World Cup (James Hook is HOT)

YEP./ SO THATS IT.
IM SCREWED FOR PROMOS> YAYME! 10:42 PM

studying has been weird. i havent been studying much, and im NOT stressed at all anymore.

good thing/bad thing.

anw, i just came back from dinner at Kovan with Sam, Fidelia, Seth, Levin, Ben

and tauhuay of course. and loads of army talk. and school talk.

and language talk. literally.

10:35 PM

WORSHIP WARRIORS UNITE!

i had a deep sense that we need to pray just now when i was doing my quiet time.
i felt distraction in my mind and i prayed against that when i was worshipping god.
it was scary but i could actually feel satan fuming.
he's rendered helpless but he's going to do ANYTHING to stop us.

SO. lets unite in prayer.
this word was affirmed by MANY people, and the devil has started his evil work on some of us.
lets pray for protection over OUR MINDS, OUR FAMILY, OUR FRIENDS, and OUR HEALTH.

say a little prayer and she'll be right
WHEWA WHEWA HATEN
WHEWA WHEWAS KIWAHO
( get out get out satan, get out get out) 10:49 PM

"Remember who you are. A worship warrior. Live your life as you would when serving God. Emmanuel. God is with you. Things are different arent they? Now with the renewal of your mind you know You're not alone anymore. It changes everything"

wise words. thanks friend.

these words really spoke to me. the moment i read "Emmanuel. God is with you" i felt overwhelmed by god's spirit and i cried there and then at the library. thank god i was at a corner, or someone might think im depressed. its awesome how encouragement can do such wonders, to remind someone that he/she isnt alone in the battle for God. he'll never be alone. cause God is ALWAYS THERE and ALWAYS PRESENT. amen.

and God is AWESOME. i felt unproductive at the library and since i finished my work allocated for that day, i decided to go home for a run. i turned on the comp for a quick sweep of my emails and i read something sent by Eugene Loo Jia Wei. a friend i havent seen for almost a year.

this is what it said.

Isaiah 40:31: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint.

Why are we described as eagles? Eagles are mentioned approx 32 times in the Bible.. Why?Eagles are the King of Birds, just like how the lion is the King of Cats..

Fact One:Eagles are usually lone birds
-Eagles fly at altitudes that no other bird flies. -They are not a group bird. Other birds will call to it but the eagle pays no attention. He cannot afford to be bothered with other birds that do not want to fly higher. He is just not content to fly from tree top to tree top or hop around on the ground.
-Sometimes we find ourselves being the 'sore thumb' in class, in the group of our friends because we are walking with Jesus. sometimes, we feel ashamed to acknowledge that we are Christians.
Because simply, we're like eagles, we're lone. But however, we get to fly at altitudes no one else goes.. we get Jesus. And the things of this world and our friends may dissuade and distract us from His calling, but we shld not be contented to be where everyone is.. but seek a intimate and personal relationship with God.

Fact Two:-The eagle has the ability to look directly into the sun.
-The eagle has a built in pair of shades in the corner of the eye. When the enemy comes they will fly directly into the sun. The enemy cannot stand the glare so it must retrieve. Similarly for us, when we are under spiritual attack, we must fly into the sun. the sun represents God, who is the light, and the enemy will have to back off! When we seek God in our dire circumstances,and allow Him authority, the devil cannot touch us!


They who wait on the Lord, SHALL RENEW THEIR STRENGTH! KEEP WALKING WITH GOD, KEEP PUTTING EACH FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER, YOUR VICTORY WILL COME!

Fact Three:Why shall we mount up on wings like eagles?
The eagles have 18 wingtip feathers.. representing the 9 gifts of the Spirit and 9 fruit of the Spirit!If you observe the flight of the eagle after swopping down to the lake to catch its prey, you will find it using all its strength and flapping its wings with all it has and skimming over the surface of water for about 200yards then eventually being able to soar into the sky.It beats its wings with all it has in order to break the law of gravity.. But once it finds a wind current - a huge current of hot air that spirals up into the sky for miles - it can spread it wings, stretch its wingtip feathers and catch the current.The wind will cause a spiraling downdrafton each feather and will create a cushion that the eagle can soar effortlessly for hours.
Fasting and prayer to break through into the Spirit realm may be tough at first, because you are beating your wings with all you have when you're in fast. If you stop one second, you will come crashing on the ground. But if you keep fast and prayer.. eventually you will be able to break through and find the current of His Spirt wherein there is rest and strength and where you can trust God and follow the leading of the Spirit until the next battle comes.


the verse sounds familiar? thats because i have said in my blog before that i have this repeated verse that i keep seeing and thats the one. and God is reminding me again through this email.
and yes, its the sermon that pastor Julie preached during GCYC. aint it awesome?



my God is an AWESOME God. 7:14 PM

MODERN LEVITES CONFERENCE.

it was a good break from my not yet started studying time.
i felt so burdened and troubled when i started the conference.
BUT the LORD is awesome. i received so much from this and im ready to GIVE. (:

6th sept:
me sandra and cordelia went to watch EVANalmighty. was awesome. (:
then we went to TCT and waited for the conferecne to start.
pastor Eugene and VIVIENM HIBBERT spoke. awesome.
chardie came to fetch me and charmaine and we went for supper with angus camy seth fee and sam. funny man. the way kor drove. made me and charmaine laugh like crazy.

7th sept:
in the morning pastor MATT HEINS preached. he's REALLY AWESOME MAN. and he showed us this video about this father who ran like a few trialathlon pushing and carrying his son who's deformed. one of them is the IRONMAN challenge. which happens to be. 3.2km swim, 180km cycling, 42km run. and he had his son to push and cycle and carry. it was really touching to see him fighting so hard to make his son live a fulfilled life. i was so touched by it. i cried and i really thought of god. he is very much like this father, trying so hard to help me live a fulfilling life, and that i shouldnt give up in this battle of life. and i went forward for altar call. really. god spoke to me.
"lean not on your own understanding but mine. i love you no matter what"
really awesome. thanks be to god.

then was the musical picture part by Vivien Hibbert, the Paradise Band were informed in the morning that they had to play something lik that. and i learnt alot from them. their band dynamics were AWESOME. they worked SO well with one another and i really learnt ALOT. t was cool man. really enriching.

then we went for our electives. i learnt ALOT from vivien hibbert. gosh.
a heart of worship really spoke to me. and a new song was birthed.
anw, the night session was cool. HAHA.
pastor Matt Heins went like. "who watches HI-5? well. HI-5!"
and he sang like for fun " Bob the Builder" and the whole group of Gkidz levites went like
"CAN WE FIXED IT?" "YES WE CAN"
hahaha. laughed like mad can! hahaha. anw, yeah went forward again to lay it down to god.
was awesome. cried like crazy and god really spoke to me. it was awesome.

8th sept:
pastor MATT HEINS spoke about Prayer. it was cool. he was funny. really funny. love his stories and his exaggeration of stuff wich puts across the points SO well. funny. was awesome. we prayed for the people who had people they were praying for that have yet to receive christ, God's presence was there. awesomeness.
then in the afternoon me ben and samyee left for YA serangoon.
IT WAS SUPER FUN! the games we played. i led games for lower primary. thought we had fun! (((: yay. heehee. then we went back to TCT (thanks to angela for the lifts and all! ) and ate with seth. we ordered too much for the three of us to handle so we called him. HA. then we proceeded to have a chat over ribena, TEH-C and sugarcane with LEMON. LOL.
the night session was AWESOME.
vivien hibbert was talking about the favour of the lord. and she asked some of the levites to sing over us, prophesy god's word. and really. GOD'S PRESENCE WAS REALLY THERE. i was OVERWHELMED. and he spoke to me and it really triggered me. i couldnt stop crying. really. it was. great man. great great great.

oh yeah PARADISE BAND IS AWESOME! the bassist and the drummer is like. WHOO! and the rest of them. mind blowing. gosh! oh well. ((: took some pictures with them.

here's the bassist, Dewald(psst he's REALLY tall)
thats Anna Button and Jaye dont-know-how-to-spell-her-surname and sandra and crys.

9:53 PM

loads of things happened since i last blogged.
life's miserable i would say.
but im trying to look on the bright side.
went back to KCP for teachers' day.
I MISS BRIAN KOH AND 4 TRUTH.
those were the days man.... ):

OH WELL. sunday night had leaders' appreciation.
the levites had fun sabo-ing people. we cool.
ABCD finally managed to take a rather straight no funny faces/poses picture and it was blurred.
SIGH.

anw.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASHER SERRANO TAN!


oh well. holidays are stupid.
not studying much,
im damn screwed for PROMOS.
i think i might. just retain.
SIGH!. HOW!? i suck at MATH and LIT. and basically everything else. DARN.
history is like. i forgot EVERYTHING about origins.
and i dont know much about END OF COLD WAR.
yay me. im digging my grave.

god. please intervene.
on the bright side. i have a new band and we're jamming tmrw.
and DINNER AT JERRINE'S place. YAY POKES! ((: 10:00 PM

11:29 PM

11:52 PM

i have to get this off my chest

look people. im not upset im not in the committee.
its more of like. just a little disappointment?
but its just lurking in the far corners of my mind.
whats important is that, hopefully sir has chosen the right ones to lead the band,
i dont have to stress out about band.
and i can STUDY and do well for As.

guess god gave me an answer.
no i cant balance a post and my studies.
he'll choose for me.

and he did. ((: and im elated about that.
congrats to all who are appointed posts.
to all those who didnt, well. we are BMs(no. not band majors)
but BAND MEMBERS.
and that is kickass. (: heeheeheehee

in any case, i really wanna thank yaofeng, xiling and madison for what they have done.
for the relationships we have forged. (:
LOVE YOU GUYS ALOT. AND I WILL MISS YOU GUYS A LOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT> REALLLYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! ): 12:35 AM

i need sleep.
i need rest.
most importantly, i need time to study.

god save me. 10:42 PM

me inez brandon.
inez brandon me.
i was out with like band people the whole day.
studying with michelle in the morning. bran came down to meet us.
we walked ard aimlessly, finding stuff to look at.
then me and bran left for wheelock with lots of excitement to buy my bag and his laptop cover.
met my brother and charmaine and went to look.
SIGH
my mom saw wrongly. dont have 10% ):
so upsetting. then im waiting till sunday then can buy.
brandon wasnt sure if the bag could fit his laptop and his sister's so he didnt buy.
compulsive spendthrift he is, bought a handphone pouch cause he wanted to buy something.
sigh.
anw, went to meet inez for her to buy food.
then we went to cathay. sat at B&J's for like. 3 hours. doing absolutely nothing
oh yeah. brandon bought us ice cream
a MERLIONSTER
7 scoops with banana cookie fudge.
sinful. satisfying.
thanks brandon! super nice lah.
anw. we watched simpsons.
yes my second time. damn awesome. ((:
i was laughing even before the funny parts came. HEEHEE.
oh well. im super tired now. YESTERDAY WAS THE AWESOME.

met up with sam fee elias levin lijuan crys deb syl pam joce junming benlow levin ken aaron samyee paul hewyenn. RUSH HOUR 3
was quite funny lah. action was good. oh well. we went to watch fireworks.
squeezing with all the people was not fun.
anw, we went to that grass patch and we went right right to the front/
and sat with our legs dangling into the bay.
scary...
but the fireworks was awesome.
first time i felt the atmosphere. the fireworks were exploding like right in front of me.
damn awesome lah. PICTURES.

this was the last one. THE BIGGEST. gold sparks on top and silver at the bottom.

look at levin dangling his feet over.



11:21 PM

8:58 PM

9:14 PM

the full load of pig crap
in our faces

darn. band pract has finally come back to reality.
no more hiding under the seniors.
no more playing songs we're already familiar with.
the full blown weight of the band is on everyone of us now.
at least tarun does understand how i feel and we both agreed we didnt like it as well. about a random something. sigh.

sigh. and no more hiding under xiling and yaofeng.
me and jiffsen had a hell of a time of scolding from sir
guess we;re super not used to only the two of us in the section
we're alot quieter. except we did talk more when we started sightreading
great improvement needed on our part.
we really need to stop relying on yf and xl.
and start being a section
this sat is exchange with AJ
heard their tbonists are awesome.
going to get owned and embarrassed. yay us.

history test tmrw? sheesh. im screwed. 8:48 PM

Victor and Weiling's Wedding Dinner at the Ritz-Carlton Millenia.


8:35 PM

few of the most awesome people you'll ever meet. ((:
really thank god for them! heehee. (((:

and the most awesome band ever. pity my brother wasnt there.
but i did get to see david sing.hahahaha. whee ha. ((:

BUT ANW. im so going to watch simpsons. funny funny.
PAC opening.

today after school did the painting of the bin.
it looked really cool. like military.. (:
then went out for lunch with section plus yd and sherman
then in the end we all except jiff, went back for sectionals.
was funn!!!
i managed to learn the two songs. ((:

oh well.
i wonder if im caring too much.
being in it really is affecting me.
emotionally, physically, mentally.
sometimes i wonder if im actually needed to care.
is there actually a point in being there and caring?
is there a point in taking the intiative, helping get things done?
is there a point in planning stuff?
its really taking a toll on me.
i've been feeling really down lately, easily upset, emotionally tired, physically tired.
far away from god.
sigh. help me. 10:19 PM

racial harmony day! ((:
it was really cool. dressing up and all the camwhoring with the girls.
pictures!




thats mrs sng. (: the one on the extreme left







9:23 PM

CJCSB AT PRESENTATION NIGHT!
((:
okay. at least we think we did! ((:

WHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE
anw it was awesome.
rehearsal waas quite sad cause sir scolded us and all.
then we had to rush off for chinese listening which was complete disgustingness.
afther that we went back to the band room
was quite hyped up already. but our dear brother and sister from the section had to leave for combined band. so a bit sad. so left me xl and maddie.
anw. pictures!
TROMBONES 2007
CJCSB 2007


9:40 PM

8:31 PM

okay band today.
HAHA. sir was extremely funny.
i was laughing like mad.
the funniest that set me and yaofeng laughing was when sir said
HAR-WIN when it was Harvin.
anw. then we started saying like
Welocity, WiWOcity, Wiolin, Wiola
and then i said. WATER
and then we both after a split second of silence burst out laughing.
sigh. yaofeng's blondeness is starting to rub off onto me.
or maybe it's sir's
anw. sir was in a darn good mood.
he was quite happy with our playing yada yada
we sight read West Side Story
i played First alone. was quite scary. but i got a hang of it.
but the notes were high.
OH YEAH.
i realise my sound sucks.
like very buzzy the sound.
must work on it. sigh.GAH.

school was okay. im starting to feel a bit more bonded to the class.
hope it'll get better. ((:
my results so far.
EEUD
sucks.

100K campaign. whee. god loves, god blesses. (((: 9:25 PM

A Tribute To Kenneth

Kenneth Tan. ((:
going into NS
may you come out more masculine
and to keep on bringing joy to the people around you! ((:
godbless and grant you favour.
ps:i cant wait to see your hair. or lack of it.



SIGH
it seems to be a trend in my life.
people im close to for a period of time,
will only be close to me for that period of time.
all the fun outings have now become burdens for them to carry
maybe im just sensitive.
when exams come we wont even have time for one another.
so what for plan these outings for each other to spend time together?
why not just go straight to the point we wont bother about each other anymore? 9:25 PM

10:26 PM

HAPPY BAPTISM AARON HO JIA WEI!
so happy for you! finally get to see you and all. ((: on this very special day for you!
9:16 PM

SECTION PICTURES!
current batch. (:
with marianne!!!!!

8:55 PM

"You need to let go.
"He has plans for you. You know that. You have the inner prompting to change the world, one person at a time. You know you were meant to serve in the spirit of excellence, you know it.
But He cannot move through you unless you comply.
He cannot use you, unless you surrender the temporal and pick up the eternal.
He cannot work miracles through you, until you break that life-filled vessel of yours and empty it, to make room for His spiritual blessings.
He cannot make himself known through you, unless you make yourself known to others.
He cannot give through you if you give to expect return, unless you give because He gave first. He cannot speak through you, unless you stop being a 'listener of the gospel' and become a 'do-er of the gospel'.
And He cannot love through you, unless you love first."

got this from Ben's blog. really spoke to me.
stop being a listener. start being a Do-er.
thanks Ben

Lord help me to empty my vessel. be once agin the instrument you use to bring joy and laughter to others. help me to love like you have loved me.
thank you God. 11:30 PM

yesterday was the first day back at school.
the final resolution to all the tension that happened in the last part of the holidays.
school.
i was hit suddenly by the fact that i SO didnt do well for mid years. and i have to buck up if i want to be promoted.
after a long tedious not to mention boring day at school
i had Chinese Oral. which wasnt such a good improvement over the sleepy school hours i had.
finally was my turn. sprouted some alien chinese sentences and then went for band.
i received a message. and it spoilt my mood.
someone i trusted proved me wrong.
i was angry.
then pissed.
i went to melissa and started complaining.
then i was just in a bad mood.
didnt talk much. played first for the first two sightreading songs. sat with jiffsen so it wasnt thta bad.
and then we played roman fest.

before that sir suddenly asked us "what does cca mean to you"
and he started this rather serious and solemn talk about band and the characters.
it was a talk i knew would come. and i agreed with him.
why cant people not only in band, but people in general, just be themselves?
there's NO need to act like someone else so others will favour you.
and WHY cant we just not only look onto the surface, but think about people's feelings emotions and all? i mean. gossiping aint a nice thing to do.
whats worse is that those juicy details are juicy beyond reality.
making up such comments about people is just absolutely despicable.
it doesnt add colour to one's life. it destroys another's
superficial, unreal. those are the two words that are apparent in my mind right now.
and im very much disturbed by it.

irregardless.
we played Roman Fest. thought it sounded quite okayyyy. thought my mood was rather bad throughout. and then i cleared things up. and it was better.
my mood became better i suppose.
then we played Jap Graf.
Mr Lim happily blasted his way through and got himself scolded.
i got scolded cause i wasnt listening. (i didnt know sir was talking to me)
and then. we went for section plus everybody else dinner.
it felt so weird not talking to them. sigh.
its just awkward for me. ):

whatever it is. i know the world can be disappointing and i can trust in god.
and i know when all else fails, his mercy still remains. ((:
i just wish. the trombone section '07 will remain good friends and not drift away from one another even though we dont see each other much after band practices stop.
and that we will continue being the way we are, real and bonded. 5:52 PM

TRANSFORMERS! one of the MOST AWESOME movies this year!!!!
anw, i realised i am a VERY bad event planner.
i planned this movie really badly. sigh.
long story later.
I MET JOANNE LYN IN THE AFTERNOON!!!!!! ((:
she bought donuts. and i couldnt resist ONE.


yupp. anw. then i went to cine to wait for them.
everyone was late.
i forgot to buy a ticket for shawn so he didnt come(i feel tremendously bad!)
had major confusion booking tickets.
i texted benseow the wrong message so he ended up at dhoby ghaut.
elias reched first, then pris, then caroline and joy. then kenneth and levin, ben, sky then deborah.
OH WELL!
im super traumatised okayyyyyyyyy. i made SO many mistakes.
next time i'll just let levin plan. thanks for your affirmation anw. (:

anw. the movie was the awesome okay!
it was funny and exciting.
hardcore action from the beginning to the end.
we all agreed. it was AWESOME. awesome awesome awesome.
i feel like watching it all over again. nice nice. (((:
anw. after the movie it was a whole period of adrenaline rush.
lets see. this is what happened
me:hey caroline. wanna go pee?
caroline:*looks thoughtful for a whole 10 sec* OKAY!
BURSTS OUT LAUGHING LIKE MAD!
hahahahahahahah. the two of us. seriously. crazy lah.
we came out of the toilet laughing like mad and we told the rest why we were laughing and they just stared in wide eyed wonder.
THEN
me:oh no! that TV is going to turn into a decepticon
pris:how do you know?
everyone stares at her.
super blonde lah!
oh well. after that it was a mad rush to the MRT station to catch the last train at 11.46pm
we were running. me kenneth levin deborah elias ben. we seriously felt like we were in the movie, running away from that autobot.
but anw. yes. in the end me ben and ken cabbed.

they were catching drunk drivers

this motorcyclist got caught. interesting!!!!!anw. the guys dropped me off at my place and i got home. really late. my mom was quite angry. but she didnt really scold. ((: yay.

OH WELL. school starts tmrw. sigh.

2:21 PM

i think her name is genevive. ((: pretty and cute huh! ((:
love her. she was really cool. kept coming towards me to HI FIVE and stuff.
cute. ((:

oh well. sat was YA at serangoon then to cordelia's place.
YA was fun. ((: i played games i havent played for like 5 years.
like PEPSI COLA and WHAT TIME IS IT MR WOLF.
was cool. ((:
then to church to wait for cordelia. charlee gave us a lift to some bus stop. and we went to chomp chomp to buy food.
its awesome. i havent ate there since they renovated. oh well.
watched 200 pounds beauty. for the 91745182475142th time.





oh well. then the next morning dark and early went to church. ((:
helped doing PA. i was so sleepy i was like stoning and i forgt to switch slides many times.
i think marcus was going to kill me. tsk.
then had service. bryan bong came! ((:
was great catching up with him again.
hahahaha. with his aussie accent. but anw. thats about it.

OH YEAH. I MISSED LOST ON SUNDAY.
im super upset. 2:14 PM

fat people thinks they are fat.
skinny people thinks they are fat

tall people thinks they're too tall.
short people wants to be much taller.

it'll take a million years to actually comprehend and analyse what flaws people think they have in terms of physical flaws.

but whatever it is.
however you look, god created you this way.
just MAKE SURE YOU'RE HEALTHY.

and dont take it to heart when people like daniel wong says "oh. you saw a monkey? thats just the mirror" 11:04 PM

EXAMS ARE OVER!
yayness! (((((:
"O my soul's joy!"
heeheeheehee..

section outing later. cant wait!
i realised i cant double tongue on my instrument.
OH NO!. i practised for nothing. )))):
chinese was relatively easy today. (:
surprisingly. i thought i would like leave many things blank but i didnt.
thank god!

im in the mood for some live jazz.
i cant sing jazz for nuts. ):
and for some pool.
and just sitting down somewhere and chilling and wasting time.
what a great life! ((: 3:54 PM

jacinth and ruby. (: self procliamed combined group during camp gilgal. (:

anw today was rather. okayyy.
went to study in the afternoon with jiffsen yaofeng and tarun.
at boon keng macs.
bella dropped by.
studied for about an hour or two.
spent the rest talking nonsense online and being complete idiots.
me tarun and yf proceeded to paradiz.
i played a bit of pool
rather embarrassing.
i suck at it la!
but beginner's luck.
i hit in quite a number.
but lost to bentoh in the end. ah well. (:
left for chaichee office.
was cool. i was kinda studying for chinese a bit but listening
and i think god really spoke to me.

do i really serve god because i love him?
has it become a routine?
we can be the world's greatest people but without love, we are nothing.
am i doing it with a renewed love each time i serve him? or has it become just like a normal week, like im duty.
like waht aunty eewee said. at the end of the world, whatever praise and sacrifice i have given to the lord, will undergo a test. will it survive?

now anyone who builds that foundation may use gold, silver. jewels, wood, hay or straw. but there is going to come a time of testing at judgement day to see what kind of work each builder has done. everyone's work will be put through the fire to see whether or not it keeps it value. if the work survives, that builder will receive a reward. but if the work is burned up, the builder will suffer great loss. the builders themselves will be saved. but like someone escaping through a wall of flames.
1 Corinthians 3:11-15

i dont want to be "like someone escaping through a wall of flames" i want to be rewarded on the true praise i have given to him. the sacrifices i have made for the lord.
am i going dry? then i guess its time for me to humble before god and drink from his everlasting river of love once again.

thank you lord. 11:11 PM

10:14 PM

you know when parents scold their kids, i think they expect them to smile back at them.
if you look serious and look into their eyes, they would say
"why are you looking at me so fiercely? rebellious isit?"

BUT

if you smile at them when they are scolding you they would say
"whats so funny? you think its all a joke right?"

so either why you get picked on.
so how do you structure your return look without being "fierce" or "think its all a joke"? 11:36 PM

my FIRST time helping out at serangoon club.
was better than expected. (:
we met early at sam's house. fidelia ben stef sam angela seth bryan and me.
then we discussed the banner and all. managed to finish it rather quickly. hahahaha.
got there. took this three girls for tuition. isabelle, jialing jiayan.
really sweet girls.
then we went to paint the banner. (:










church was fine today. sang for gkidz. my voice was really bad.
sigh. i think im losing touch. i think my voice sounds really thin and like unsupported.
i need training! help. 10:26 PM

YA retreat was the awesome. (:we played ALOT of games. (:
we had fun with this blanket game. hilarious really. the way we tried to cheat.
then we had sharing. i felt a bit guilty when ben and fee went up to share about serangoon club cause i only went once. ):
we ended around 11 plus and we went for supper(: at changi village.
kenneth was hilarious. he said if we see trannies someone must hold his hand and pretend to be his girlfriend. so loser.
the board walk there was really long but really nice and breezy. had fun talking nonsense (:
came back everyone else went to sleep. people in my bungalow-me,fee,angela,sam,joce,pris,caroline,ben and kenneth plus sky and levin started playing hand games. kenneth and levin kept screwing up.like mm chi chi mm chi, bom bom chuckie chuckie chuckie, splat, zzzz TIU, 007bang, kungfu, haitai, bigfishsmall fish, teng teng teng teng teng TENG TENG... etc.
had A LOT OF FUN! (: we played till like 4am. then went to sleep.
next day woke up at 8 plus, played bridge and all. (: then we had games. LEVIN SOH KEPT MAKING FUN OF ME. he went to everyone and said " hi im delphne and i like digging my nose and farting" and cause you're supposed to switch identity with the person he kept being me and kept telling other people about me. meanie. anw. we had session then prayer. was good. god's presence was really there (: prayed as a club. anw. then we had free and easy.
me lijuan and andrea went walking. and then we met levin kenn and pastor on the way to go FISHING. so fun lah! (: anw. we all came back for the bbq. me kenn and angela wanted to go to watch the sunset, was really nice. pastor brought all of us there in the end. (: pastor me crystal kenn lijuan and andrea stayed for really long taking ALOT of pictures. (: went back played some niu nai game. hahahahal. funny. bbq was cool. we played double wacko and i kept screaming. hilarious. sky had a cardiac arrest. (: the hwa chong guys stayed over and we had a lot of fun watching 200 pounds beauty. adrian joined in the camwhoring. (: we played risk and ate macs (: was super fun. we played risk till like 5 am. me and kenn started out quite okay. and ben and fee were like dying. and in the end. meandkenn were dying and ben secured the pacific. HA. funny.
the next day we all packed up. i didnt leave, but went fishing. caught more stuff. (:
anw, enough said. PICTURES! (:








10:51 PM

1T SEX barbeque(:
it was really a great time of bonding and just chilling. (:
shant say more. pictures! (:
jao starting up the fire. (:
angela drinking and eating the fruit cocktail we made. hungry la.
jao's masterpiece! (:
me and darling angela. (:
eating the most awesome marshmallow ever-jao
ting's amazing roasting marshmallows skill. its awesome tasting. see!
(:
eating
and. more eating
he got smashed with marshmallow and mayo was squirted at him.

8:04 PM

THE PERSON WHO HAD THE CHEEK TO WRITE THIS REALLY DESERVES TO DIE THE MOST GROTESQUE DEATH EVERR!!!!!!

art is not a crime. yes. but vandalism is.

graffiti is a form of art. yours doesnt look like art. just scribblings. if you drew something more presentable, at least it'll make your statement more viable. please. dont think you're the greatest artist of all time. if leonardo da vinci drew something on the back of a bus seat, i wouldnt mind. but you inconsiderate pigs. please.

on the contrary, studying was alright. managed to finish quite a bit, though we spent 30 mins walking around doing nothing. then we went to play pool.

i seriously felt weird. only girl. but oh well. i played warcraft! its actually quite easy! (:

wanted to play pool but.. the guys playing were too pro.

though they let me try once.

(: 10:36 PM

rae nick and me. long time since we'd hanged out. (:

anw. network camp.






today went out with teh PW group. annabelle hilda and melissa.
supposed to go esplanade and research on our project.
ended up having a ball of a time shopping.(:

at Kenny Roger's

hilda. tsk. food!(: hee

annabelle's favourite of all.
we then went to zara andtried on clothes.
we all bought this shirt. (:

i tried this pair of heels. freaaking high. but super nice!!!!!!!! (:

but it costs. 179 bucks.




oh well. i had fun! now start the studying. whee.

7:11 PM